Saturday, January 18, 2014

Cold With Dread

It's 5:30 in the morning, and it's chilly. Really chilly.

She wakes up but her mind is still trying to drift off to sleep. She feels like she's been drugged. She rubs her hands & arms vigorously, trying to make herself feel warm - it's no use. Through droopy, sleepy eyes, she scanned her room out of habit and sees nothing but darkness, except for the hypnotic light from her computer monitor which is the only thing alive during this time. Everybody is still sleeping. Yet, here she is, awake and asleep at the same time.

She knows she has to do it.

She has to do it.

But could she?

Dread filled her as she thinks of what she has to do soon. Goosebumps crawl all over her skin as her icy hands try - unsuccessfully - to keep the evil cold from engulfing her senses. She lets out a deep, depressed sigh as she stands up.

She has to do it now.

Dragging her feet like a zombie, she walks towards the bathroom door, her hands stopping inches from the seemingly gleaming door knob - hesitating... Dreading. Breathing in deeply, she finally opens the door.

Another sigh.

"Here we go..." She muttered darkly.

Uncertainty fills her mind. Her body recoils from the task that has to be done but her mind keeps telling her to do it now. Pull the trigger. Plunge the knife straight to the heart. Cut the wrist and watch the blood drip. Whatever you have to do, just do it.

She has to do it. She keeps reminding herself.

She trembles involuntarily as she touches the cold steel.

NO. She can't do it!

It's too cold!

She turns her back from the shower, turns off the light, and closes the bathroom door.

"I showered yesterday anyway." She justifies to herself.

DISCLAIMER: the madwoman always showers before working. LOL.  =D 

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