Saturday, February 22, 2014

Kristen Stewart's Sex Poem... And Why Not Caring Is Important.

What seems like a jumble of words randomly taken from a dictionary, some seemingly made up, is actually a poem made by our resident brooding Hollywood A-lister, Kristen Stewart. This is probably one of the weirdest poems I've read, but definitely not the worst. People are too harsh. C'mon, is it really the worst? You guys still haven't read mine. LOL.

Some poems are straightforward, some are more abstract. KStew's teeters on the crazy, hazy side. And I love that! I love crazy! God knows what she means with this poem, but I see sex, and lots of it! So here's my tongue-in-cheek take on: 

My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole

(by Kristen Stewart)

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I'll suck the bones pretty.
(moonlight, crestfallen, black - can that mean sadness or depression? Ubiquitously, kismetly - fate, both of them are sad. Thrown together into a moment of shared emotions. Leading to KStew, uhhmm sucking something, some kind of errr- bones? hehe.)

Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps 
(nature - man's biology. perforated - entered. abrasive organ pumps - what a sexy euphemism for the female genitalia. hahahahahaha O_O)
Spray painted everything known to man,
(sprayed all over her "walls." As probably quite a few men have known that particular abrasive wall)
Stream rushed through and all out into 
(seriously, do I really have to explain this?)
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck 
(they were making love until the crack of dawn)
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked. 
(I thought she was talking about Rupert Sanders. But she said he sparked - fairy vampire. That means Edward Cullen of course)

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa. 
(So I guess KStew is a screamer. He parked in her organ pumps and they both reached Nirvana. Or Marfa, wherever the hell that is.)
One honest day up on this freedom pole 
(wow. A whole day of sex. And by freedom pole, she means penis, of course)
Devils not done digging (My, what stamina!)
He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle (He's coming now)
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes 
(This act makes them sweaty, and the sweat is blinding her, like dust would)
And I'm drunk on your morsels (what tasty meat. Yummy!)
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine … (Every twitch he makes, both of them gets satisfied)

And that my dear friends, is my ludicrous interpretation of Stewart's equally crazy poem. I'm not saying that's what she means, who knows, maybe she's talking about world peace. But interpreting this sure is fun. =D

*     *     *

KStew is probably the most judged celebrity of her generation. She acts indifferent and people say she's a horrible human being. She doesn't smile, and people assume the worst. She lives in her own world, not minding anybody (except for that time when she cheated on RPatz with a married man), and gets as much hate (or more) than, say, Bieber or Lohan or Hilton or Kardashian (any of those baboon girls) whose existence should be illegal. And I think that's so unfair. 

With Twilight & the Rupert Sanders debacle, any other average person will crumble to dust, wishing Hell would swallow them up, to be buried in eternal fiery oblivion. But not KStew, she's still there, seemingly unaffected. Her usual emotionless facade never changing - like a newly-botox'd housewife from Orange County... Or Miami... Or New Jersey. Again, she gets faulted for that. For not caring. For not giving a damn. And you know what, she probably doesn't care that you think she doesn't care. Because it's her life, not yours.

I'm not an avid KStew fan, believe me. But I don't hate her. Her being in Hollywood, in a cesspool of pure unadulterated shallowness and fakeness, she has managed to be herself and for that I admire her so much.

Saw this Marie Claire article, which you can read here:

Stewart lights another cigarette, and I am reminded of something she said earlier: "I have an embarrassing incapability, seriously, of summoning fake energy." And that's what is required of her, she explains, whenever she does media to promote her latest projects. "I'm just not very good on TV, and it's not my main goal in life to get good at it. People are like, 'She just can't handle'-for lack of a better word-'the spotlight.' No, actually, I can't, and that is totally who I am. I love being an actor, but I'm the last person to want to have a birthday party. I don't try to force it or turn it into something else or fabricate this personality … so I totally agree when people say I'm, like, the most awkward person." Stewart has reconciled that with her desire to be true to her poetic self. "If you're operating from a genuine place, then you can't really regret anything."  

People just love to label people, believing that we should act this way or that because it's our society's norms. "Oh you don't act feminine enough!" or "You're too weird." or "Why don't you go out and socialize like a normal person?" blah blah blah. I mean what does that even mean? If acting like a "female" means being submissive, or coy, or making sandwiches in the kitchen, then you can kiss my lovely bubble butt. How utterly boring life would be if you limit yourself just because it's what society dictates us to do. You say this, don't say that, act this way, be mindful of what others would say. Well I say bullcrap! If you're gonna spend all your life thinking about that, then you'll find yourself one day, old and grey, not having done anything exciting. And all the people you were so afraid to offend, or whose opinions you think mattered, are already gone and have forgotten about you. And life has passed you by. Life is too short, live it.

People will continue to talk, whatever you're doing in your life. They will continue to judge because it makes them feel superior. The key is to simply not give a damn. That's one skill I'm trying to perfect. I'm nearly there. When that time of mastery comes, I would be so happy to just be able to do what KStew does best - not smile and flip the bird at anyone who judges me.

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  1. I enjoyed this very much... I agree with much you said here, especially not giving a damn what others think.. Nice job ! :)

    1. thank you Tabby :) That's my philosophy :)


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