Meeting Santa & Satan

(A repost from my LiveJournal account. Wrote this years ago.)

Thinking about random stuff...

What if I went to North Pole? 

It will probably go something like this.

(dreamy music. enter imagined scenario)

After a tiring but incredibly enjoyable tour of Santa's toy factory, a snowball fight with the elves, & a fun sleigh ride with the reindeers, relaxing in St. Nick's fairy tale english cottage while sipping a cup of good ol' hot choco drink courtesy of Mrs. Claus is very much appreciated.

ME:  So Santa, why didn't you give me a present last christmas? I was a good girl, you know.

SANTA:  (with his booming voice & all his jolliness) Ho, Ho, Ho! No you weren't.

ME:  What?! Yes i was.

SANTA:  Ho, Ho.. So you're gonna insist on playing this jukienice character huh? ok, let's see.. (he got his famous LIST).. hmm.. you don't pray at night, you don't do chores, you drink, you broke practically all 10 commandments, you s---

ME: That's not true! I've been good!

SANTA: (still ho-ho-hoing) You lie, You-- ahem, do you want me to go on? I mean I'm just getting started. This past 2 months you broke the record by being consistently on top of my "naughty" list. You're a bum, you took v---

ME:  OK! I get it! No gifts for me, jeez! (I said good-naturedly as I drank my not-so-hot hot choco)

SANTA:  Ho Ho Ho! I'm just saying, you know! I mean, you could go to Hell for --


I didn't hear the rest of his sentence...


.. because i was again thinking.. Wouldn't it be COOL if i went to HELL & "chilled out" with dear old Lucifer?

Besides, it's so freaking cold here I can't even feel my tongue. Plus, the effing merriness in this place is too much for my pessimistic nature. blaah.

So from North, I went South. Way, way down south...